Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Time Management: Who Needs It In Retirement?

by: Windsor Augustin


Time management tools, strategies and even software are useful to goal-oriented managers in the corporate environment, right? If you’re in your retirement planning years, isn’t it a waste of time (no pun intended) to focus even an ounce of energy on time management skills? After all, time is the one thing you’ll have plenty of, right?

Not exactly. Even in retirement, you’ll still want to get the most out of your day. Time management happens to be one of the most valuable skills with which you’ll leave the workforce in order have a successful retirement. If you haven’t mastered it yet, there are many benefits to getting started today.

Here’s why: The fear of no longer being needed, or the sense of not accomplishing anything can be stressful in retirement. To compensate, there may be a natural tendency to 'think' of a bunch of things you’d like to do. Without good time management skills, the majority of these things will never see the light of day. You’ll tend to procrastinate thinking that there’s tomorrow…until too many tasks build up and become overwhelming. This will inevitably lead to frustration, a sense of emptiness instead of accomplishment, and even missed appointments with friends and family.

However, your personal life in retirement can be as successful as your business life if you practice time management strategies. As such, it is highly beneficial to learn how to organize your day, how to schedule your time in order to accomplish more without feeling overwhelmed.

A daily or weekly ‘To-Do’ list is still as valuable in your retirement as it was in the office environment. The reason is you don’t want to trust your memory to keep track of things that should be committed to paper and ink. Further, your to-do list will always form a profile of tasks you need to keep track of in order to see where you’re spending the majority of your time.

Above all, you need to learn the importance of time. Although it may seem to be plentiful at first, it remains even more so a precious commodity. It is important to make your list and your schedule around your own concept of time.

Your mastery of this important skill will serve to put your own life in perspective as well as help you avoid the stress associated with the feeling of accomplishing little to nothing in retirement.

Notice you will not need much in terms of tools. Sophisticated software or bulky planners are not necessary. As long as your chosen tools work for you and you are comfortable using them, you’re all set. But at the bare minimum you should have:

•an activity log to track your activities (however frequently you wish to track them – daily or weekly)

•the habit of scheduling important events in your life (especially leisure time – because contrary to popular belief, all your time will not be leisure)and,

•a sense of your priorities so you can assign a time barrier to all the tasks you want to accomplish that are important to you.

Don’t forget to stay flexible. You’re no longer doing this to climb a corporate ladder or to prove your competence.

There’s no need to plan every minute of every day of your life. But at the same time be mindful that you are playing with the most precious of all commodities you’ve got left. Make it count.



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About The Author
Windsor Augustin is a Financial Strategist and a Home Equity Management expert. His mortgage planning practice in Naples, Florida focuses on the needs of the entrepreneur, the small business owner and the soon-to-retire with strategies that allow them to retire earlier with zero mortgage debt. Visit him at http://www.trusted-retirement-planning-tips.com

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

How to Pass an Interview!

by: Zohra Sarwari



Nine Steps to Interview Success

These days, the average person changes their career seven to ten times within their life span. This means that the average person is going to send out several hundred copies of their resumes in their lifetime…and yes, they’re going to have to go through several interviews in their lifetime.

Scary, huh?

If the interview process makes you nervous, well, you’re not alone. But right now, it’s time to stop worrying. You’re about to learn the nine vital steps for interview success…how to pass any interview you face!

Step 1: Research the Company that you are being interviewed for:

It’s a pretty obvious trick: research the company you’re interviewing for and be prepared to show off what you know about them. Way too many people show up for an interview without having the first idea about what the particular company stands for. The truth is that you should know at least something about the company’s mission, its general business process, and its particular needs. Know how long the company has been in business and whether they’re financially sound and profitable. Research the company with a view to determine what you can do to help them achieve their goals. Be prepared to say specifically how your personal goals and experience are going to be valuable to the company.

Step 2: Know your resume:

In virtually any interview situation, you’re interviewer is going to ask you questions about your resume, about your experiences and even about the quirky stuff you’ve listed to pad it out. You should read your resume over and over, and know the details of it because you never know when you’re going to be asked about your chess playing experience or your interest in literature. Make sure there’s nothing detailed on your resume that you’re uncomfortable talking about.

Step 3: Dress for Success:

Appearance can become nine-tenths of the law if you don’t pay attention to it. For every interview, make sure you wear garments that are professional and appropriate the position that you’re seeking. Your clothes should be comfortable, clean, and pressed. Don’t create a crisis for yourself on the morning of the interview when it comes to your clothes. Pick out your outfit and make sure it’s ready the night before your big interview.

Step 4: Make sure that you wake up early and are on time:

Just as you shouldn’t let your wardrobe run you down on the big day, you shouldn’t let traffic or public transport delays upset you either. It’s also crucial that you don’t get lost on the way so have directions –and confirm them if you have to – well before you set off. These days, with MapQuest, you have no excuses. Make sure you leave the house early, and plan to be at the interview at least ten minutes early.

Step 5: Review interview questions:

Interviews may be pretty scary but they’re also pretty predictable. It doesn’t take much to predict the basic questions you’re going to be asked. Here are some examples:

Tell me about yourself?

Tell me about a time you failed miserably in your career?

What is your greatest strength/weakness?

Where do you see yourself five years from now?

What are your salary expectations for this position?

Why should we hire YOU?

Prepare sample answers to these questions. Memorize a couple of key responses. Remember that no matter who you’re interviewing for or with, if it’s a job interview, the basic focus is going to be on your experience, your goals, and your potential to contribute to the company. Be sure you can argue a case for yourself on these key points.

Step 6: Let the interviewer lead you:

The interviewer is the one running the interview but you can set the pace. Wait for the interviewer to ask the questions. Take your time to listen to the questions. Give your answers carefully; make sure they are considered. That said, each of your answers should be given with an energetic and enthusiastic voice. Above all, smile and enjoy the interview. Be courteous and always thank the interviewer at the end of the interview. Tell them that you’re well qualified for the job, and that you will prove it to them upon being hired. Don’t be afraid to be confident in yourself and your abilities.

Step 7: Ask for the next step:

The interviewer will ask most of the questions but you will have a chance to get a word in shortly. Find out what will happen next, and what you should expect after the interview. When should you be hearing from them about the job? When will the hiring decision be made?

Step 8: Send a thank you note:

Everything you do regarding your interview has consequences. Just as a good sales person follows up on a lead, after each interview you attend you should be sure to send a thank you note to the employer and the interviewer, thanking them for their time. Going the extra mile in this way will generally show that you’re qualified for the position, or at least that you’re a serious and diligent person.

Step 9: Follow-up:

Of course, sending a thank you note is something you do immediately after the interview. A reasonable period after, usually a week or two at least, you should take one further step to follow up. Call the company offices and ask if you can speak to the hiring manager who interviewed you. You can start the conversation by asking if they received your note. Then you can ask them if any decisions were made and, if not, approximately when you should call back or otherwise expect to hear from them. Don’t be pushy; above all, be polite and courteous, even if a response is not forthcoming.

WHEN YOU’RE HIRED…THINGS TO THINK ABOUT…

If you are hired, remember that you need to stand up to your promises. You should always be putting 110% effort. An unspoken trick to get comfortable in interviews and to always get the job you want: in every job you accept, make yourself shine. Regardless of how much you are paid or how much responsibility and work you’re given, take the initiative to do more. The more you’re prepared to do for your job, the future each of your jobs will take you. Don’t worry about being rewarded, just keep working hard, and it will pay off. I guarantee it.


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About The Author
Zohra Sarwari has a Bachelors Degree in Psychology and a Masters Degree in Business Administration. She is currently working on a Bachelor’s Degree in Islamic Studies. She is a mother of three beautiful children, and spouse to a great man. She is currently home schooling her own children, and teaching others about Business and entrepreneurship trainings while balancing home life. She is an author of the new ground breaking book, “9 Steps that Will Change Your Destiny”. She has also written two e-books “Become a Professional Speaker Today” and “Time Management For Success”. Her book has been reviewed in Al-Jumuah magazine, and there is an article about her up coming in Azizah magazine. She is a motivational and inspirational speaker to youth and adults. She loves teaching and learning.

http://www.zohrasarwari.com/

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Laughter Is Truly The Best Medicine

by: Laurie J. Brenner


If there's one thing I have to admit about my mother is that she was always right about this: Laughter Is The Best Medicine.

If you can't laugh about yourself and the things that happen to you - you're headed for a heart attack or some other malady, it's the way the body works. Laughter lightens the moment and strips away the seriousness that many of us approach life with; it releases the pain and chases away your personal rainstorms leaving a bright sunshiny day.

Scientists have also discovered that laughter strengthens your immune system and increases your cardiovascular flexibility (your blood vessels exercise through dilation).

According to Dr. Goodheart, the laughter doctor, laughter convulses your diaphragm, which in turn massages your internal organs. Massaged internal organs are happy internal organs and they cooperate by staying plump and juicy.

She says that laughter also causes you to gulp in large portions of air, oxygenating your blood. When that air is expelled, it's been clocked at 70 miles an hour, providing the lungs with an excellent workout. By laughing, she says, you lose muscle control, which relaxes the skeletal system. According to Dr. Goodheart, four-year-olds laugh 500 times a day, while adults laugh a mere 15! She's convinced that if we laugh as much as a four-year old, we've have the heart rate and blood pressure of that same child.

On top of all that, she continues, laughter causes the brain to produce hormones called beta endorphins which reduce pain and causes our adrenal glands to manufacture cortisol, which is a natural anti-inflammatory that's wonderful for arthritis.

Laughter also provides a catharsis, which means to purify or purge, to the emotions. It also brings about a spiritual renewal or release from tension. You notice how sometimes you'll see a comedian on television, and while he may not be that funny, something just makes you laugh uproariously? Your body seems to know that it needs the chemicals that are released through laughter.

I've always felt better after a good belly laugh or two. For me that means some very large-sounding snorts and a few donkey brays thrown into the bargain. Some people won't even go to the movie with me because when I start laughing I cannot stop. My daughters always used to go, Mom! as they slunk down into their seats trying not to be seen.

When someone's laughing, others laugh along. It's contagious. You can't help it. Oftentimes in my movie-theater laughter excursions, I have motivated a whole theater-full of people laughing right along with me. All this during the credits! (John Belushi being escorted through the prison in the opening credit scenes of The Blues Brothers. If you notice very carefully, while walking he has his butt cheeks pressed ever so tightly together as he's leaving the prison. It was a subtle physical comment that kept me laughing. The more people turned and looked at me, the harder I laughed! Finally, they just gave up and joined me!).

The Difference between Laughter, Humor, Teasing and Tickling

However, there is a difference between laughter, humor, teasing or tickling. Humor is your way of looking at the world, it's an intellectual exercise. It's your idea of what's funny; it's not the actual act of laughing.

Teasing and tickling are really a way of ridiculing someone. Tickling is something beyond someone's control and is actually a physical invasion of sorts. Children laugh when you tickle them because the body works that way, but it's actually a form of emotional ridicule that can result in very unpleasant feelings.

Teasing usually has an edge to it. People say they're teasing, but essentially they are dead serious. I think teasing is a passive-aggressive way of hurting someone through the guise of humor. Teasing, according to Dr. Goodheart, "involves our having information about something that another person has very strong feelings about - usually painful feelings - and then bringing that information up without permission." She also says that as people become very good friends they might give each other permission unconsciously to push each other's buttons. Husbands, wives, lovers, and friends play with each other's pain with permission. "When you tease without permission in order to trigger laughter, it's very manipulative and controlling."

All in all, when you're feeling down and need a lift, try laughter. It may be hard at first, but just try laughing. Force yourself. Pretty soon, you'll find yourself laughing at your own laughter and the looks you get from your family members. They'll begin to wonder what's so funny and the corners of their mouths will crinkle up in the beginning of a smile. Now you're laughing because they give you these quizzical looks wondering what you're laughing about.

Pretty soon, your laugh is real, your belly aches, the tears flow from your eyes, and the world takes on a different hue.

As for me when I laugh like this, I need Depends. I laugh so hard sometimes I wet my pants and that has nothing to do with my age.

I can still hear my friend's mom yelling at me today nearly 38 years later (while grinning ear to ear) to get off her brocade couch whenever I started laughing.

She knew what would happen.



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About The Author
Laurie J. Brenner

Former managing editor of California's oldest continuously published weekly, Brenner recently completed her book about the law of attraction. Pick up your copy today of the Little Book of Becoming, http://www.LittleBookofBecoming.com

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Law of Attraction, Television & You

by: Richard Blackstone



The law of attraction tells us that you bring into your life that which you put your attention on. The secret to life is to put your attention on what serves you and take your attention away from what does not serve you.

Does your spiritual growth come from the television? Does television spew forth spirituality information? We know it uses religion a lot to send its messages but is that the same as spiritual enlightenment? We often create a habit of watching television no matter what it is that we are watching.

We get into a habit of talking bad about others and ourselves and it just seems normal to us. Our environment seems to encourage us to play a role in life that has nothing to do with who we really are. We get feedback daily from the television that encourages us to make decisions that stifle our thinking and therefore our creativity. Our non-conformity conforms to the marketing plans that bombard us daily.

Hey, here's a novel idea. Don't turn on the television. It's just an idea but think about it. The immutable universal law of attraction tells us that we attract into our life that which we put our attention on.

If you watch three to four or more hours of television a day you are putting a lot of attention on whatever it is that you are watching. If you just did this for one day it wouldn't affect you much, but if you do this every day and maybe a little more on the weekends, then you can begin to see the cumulative effect that this has on the overall input into what you think.

Let's just take one aspect of television and examine how it influences our lives. Remember these are just words. These are words that we are receiving through our physical sense of hearing with the addition of a visual context that adds emphasis to the overall message.

We are going to look at the national evening news. It doesn't matter which network you are tuned to because they all say the same things. Every night we are subjected to the lead story, which is the most sensational story of the day. My dictionary defines sensational as: 1. Arousing intense interests 2. Intended to shock, thrill, etc. (Kind of sounds like a carnival show)

Let's examine this daily input into our thoughts. The commentator has been carefully selected and programmed to create an image of fairness and trust. We are supposed to trust this fair-minded person who is relaying the news of the world to us in an unbiased way. That is the image that they all project to us.

We are lead to believe that they are doing us a great service by reporting to us the information, that puts into summary form, what has happened that particular day that they feel is important to you. Have they ever asked you what is important to you? Or are they trying to tell you what is important to you?

This is how subtle it is and how easy it is to influence collective thinking. Just the mere fact that you are listening to the news means that you are going to be influenced by the news. You may not have had a thought about being sick but the nightly news report tells you there is a national epidemic of the flu going around and, all of a sudden, you begin to wonder if you are going to get the flu. You feel fine but you now have a thought in your head that you might get the flu.

They take a commercial break and the first advertisement is for flu medicine. You didn't have a thought in your head about being sick just five minutes ago but now you are thinking to yourself that you should probably get some flu medicine tomorrow. You are susceptible to the flu, the nightly news just told you the flu bug is going around and you were fortunate enough to see an advertisement for flu medicine.

The next morning you wake up with a sniffle. You tell yourself, via your thoughts, that you are getting the flu. You go to work and tell a co-worker that you have the flu and will probably miss work in a few days because that is how the flu works on you. Lo and behold, you develop more flu-like symptoms and you become so sick that you can't go to work for a couple of days.

That's how subtle it is and that's how powerful our thoughts and words are. The flu example is bad enough but we are being fed much more sensational news than the flu bug. We are being fed huge doses of fear daily. Morning, noon, and night we are being told, via words on the news that we must live in fear of just about everything that is happening in the world.

We are told to fear the weather, fear earthquakes, fear the flu, fear the poor, fear our enemies, fear our school systems, fear foreigners, fear our food, fear children who commit crimes, fear the environmentalists, fear just about everything. This is the “news” that we subject ourselves to daily.

Now, I am not saying if this is right or wrong. I am only saying that in my observation this is what is so.

One final observation. I will let you answer this yourself since you are the only one who really matters here. Do you believe that the television news is based mostly in fear or in love? What is your answer?

Here's the kicker question. “Does that serve you?”

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About The Author
Richard Blackstone is an award winning author and international speaker on Love, Oneness & Creation. Journey into discovery of Self by reading this FREE report; "The 3 Simple Immutable Laws of the Universe" at: http://www.NutsandBoltsSpirituality.com

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Creating Your Vision

by: Ivan Campuzano


Creating Your Vision

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein

I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.

“Shoot for the moon…even if you

Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)

One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.

Visualization Exercises(meditation):

(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)

You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.

I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)

Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.

Quantum Mind Power

Daily Routine:

1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.

2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.

3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)

4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.

5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.

6. Eyes should be closed.

7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.

8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don't worry about the labels.

9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don't inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don't go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.

10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.

11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don't color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.

Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)

12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan :)

13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.

14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.

15. Get up and go have a great day :) notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.

Beliefs:

To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.

“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg

Some Ways to shape your beliefs:

1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.

2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.

3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)

How to remove junk beliefs:

1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.

Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.

Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.

This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.

Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.

http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com


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About The Author
Ivan Campuzano

A recent Colorado State University graduate with a degree in Finance. While at CSU Ivan studied abroad for a semester at the School of Economics (VSE) in Prague. Prague was such an amazing experience for Ivan, that he decided to move back and pursue several of his dreams.Interests: investing,trading,reading,traveling,music,meeting new people,and looking for new opportunities.

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How To Make Many Friends Easily

by: Ivan Campuzano



How to make many friends easily..

With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.

Becoming Likable:

Setting the Stage

Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.

In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.

Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.

Body Language

Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.

Questions and Listening

Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.

Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends

“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”

This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.

Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.

People who talk too much

1. People always talk about them behind their backs

2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.

3. Usually have very big egos

4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too

5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.

People Who Listen Effectively

1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.

2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.

3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”

Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.

Things to avoid when Listening

Don’t Interrupt

Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.

Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences

Don't Offer Advice too Soon

Compliments + Appreciation

The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.

Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.

Encouragement

Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.

Plan and Organize Social Events

One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .

I hope all these pointers will help everyone become more influential, take care and much success to everyone!

http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com


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About The Author
Ivan Campuzano

A recent Colorado State University graduate with a degree in Finance. While at CSU Ivan studied abroad for a semester at the School of Economics (VSE) in Prague. Prague was such an amazing experience for Ivan, that he decided to move back and pursue several of his dreams.Interests: investing,trading,reading,traveling,music,meeting new people,and looking for new opportunities.

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Sunday, October 12, 2008

William Stephenson, On Doing More In Life

by: William Stephenson

My name is William Stephenson; I grew up in Manasquan and have spent most of my life in New Jersey. I’d like to speak with you about achieving your best, about making the most of your assets and realizing your biggest dreams.

I was raised with the adage that my accomplishments were only limited to the heights I could imagine. This was a commonly used and inspirational line that many parents shared with their children. At the time, those words didn’t mean so much to me. Upon further reflection however, the spirit of those words was ever present in my blind sub-conscience.

When I was only 9 years of age, I had 2 paper routes on opposite ends of town. It was a morning paper, The Start Ledger; therefore both routes had to be completed by 7am. I pedaled fast to get back from the Manasquan Beach and change in time for school. The early riches that I enjoyed afforded many crucial lessons which would subsequently fuel my future achievements.

By learning the power of hard work and money at such an early age, an age where we’re all highly impressionable, it forever solidified the correlation between the two. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for supporting me in those early desires. The significance of this work should not be underscored; to me, it helped form one of my core values in life, responsibility.

By learning to do for myself and not waiting for someone else to take responsibility, I not only acquired things more speedily, but I had the good feeling of having earned them myself.

This early money was invested wisely, not an IRA, not a 401K, I used those funds for flight lessons at Allaire Airport. At age 13, I was speaking with an Uncle of mine. He was a war hero to me, who fought in Korea. He stated that he always regretted not learning how to fly. For some reason, his regret cautioned me enough not to follow his path. I clipped a 50% off coupon from an Entertainment Guide for an introductory flight lesson. Well, soaring above my home town and central New Jersey served two purposes. First, it sold me instantly on the joys of flight. Second, and more importantly, it extended my reach out into the world; it effectively reduced the size of it and led me to believe that it would be easier to conquer now. Again, I have to thank my parents for allowing me to circle their home at 1000 feet. They clearly hadn’t read all of the accident reports on that scenario.

About one year after that first flight lesson, I accomplished one of my most rewarding feats. I had officially been involved with Boy Scout Troop 59 of Manasquan for only 4 years when I had reached a pinnacle by attaining the rank of Eagle Scout. To this day, less than 2% of all scouts make it that far. To this day as well, I still don’t know why that percentage has remained so low. Even at age 14, my drive was surpassing my moments. Each Eagle Scout applicant must appear before a board of review to validate his award and confirm that he in fact extols the virtues befitting the milestone. At this board of review the applicant sits among and across from several elders in his troop as well as a representative from the council level, the governing body for many troops.

I perplexed them all that evening, not on purpose of course. All I had to do was answer a few questions and I would be an Eagle Scout. Later, I was told that the elders of my troop were kicking themselves underneath the table. They would have preferred that I had said less rather than more that evening.

I was questioned about my awareness of the high honor they would soon bestow upon me. My answers and my feelings in general about the rank of Eagle Scout at the time were slightly dismissive. Quite frankly, I saw the rank of Eagle as just another step along the scouting trail. In fact, as they pressed me about why I didn’t seem as excited about it as perhaps the elders were, I told them that every scout should follow the logical path that I had taken and achieve the rank as well. My unrefined point that evening was that I felt the very act of holding that rank up on a special pedestal was one of the impediments to most scouts attaining it. I believe that more scouts would enjoy the accolade if it were not placed so high above them. Of course, this could possibly dilute the experience at the same time.

After much back and forth, I acquiesced and agreed that it was indeed a tremendous accomplishment. I was now one of the younger Eagle Scouts in our troop’s storied history. My years in scouting provided far too many memories and tales to share with you this evening, however, the leadership skills that I cultivated during those early years would prove pivotal. They have played a key part in every major accomplishment and milestone after that. I believe the Boy Scouts to be a fine organization for our youth when accompanied by active parenting. Its affects are incalculable.

Psychologists say that the majority of our basic learning is acquired by the age of 16; if this in indeed true, the importance of our early decisions is paramount. The more healthy habits and useful ventures we take part in during this phase of life, the better.

Soon, I was off to college at the University of South Carolina. I worked almost continuously through those years and took my virtues to the job place. I found myself in a setting where the status quo ruled. It’s certainly easier in the short term to follow the lead; however, leading the pack at the workplace provides far greater returns in the long run. Standing out and shaking up the system takes courage or simply a set of convictions that disregards the consequences. This is why leading in life is critical. When you place yourself in the driver’s seat you are less beholden to peer-pressures which may lead people astray.

Throughout these years my love for flying never ceased. I worked to learn and that correlation always seemed to get me through the tougher days. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in an area unrelated to flying, I returned home and finished the flight ratings required in order to call myself a professional pilot. I was now getting paid to give sightseeing tours up the Hudson River and around the Statue of Liberty. It was a tremendous feeling being right back where I started 10 years earlier yet so much further ahead. I was now getting paid for every one of those coveted flight hours necessary for advancement, how ironic, I felt?

Another crucial lesson learned during this phase of my life was how two steps back could lead oneself miles ahead. I left that wonderful job at Allaire Airport and gambled on a new venture at Teterboro Airport in North Jersey. I made less money and added one hour to my commute each way. Many thought I was crazy, but I was looking beyond tomorrow.

For the next 6½ years, I participated in a niche market in the business aviation world. I flew organ transplant teams around our country in Lear jets, King Airs, and Barons. It was hard work; we were often called into action at the last minute and it was typically midnight. Years later I would be rewarded for those efforts in a far greater way than just my pay. More on that treat soon.

The challenges that forced my cohorts and I in this last position codified that work ethic learned as a paper boy years earlier. One of the lessons there taught me that we are continually growing and every action or inaction we participate in affects our future. We mustn’t look at each day as just any day. Every morning we wake up is another opportunity to better ourselves. Rarely will anyone of us remain stagnant; we’re either moving a head or behind in life. We make these choices everyday and all day.

After just nine years in the aviation industry I had yet again reached a pinnacle. I have taken a job on a Challenger jet flying a Fortune 200 company and its proprietors around the globe. Those early paper route dollars that I invested in flight training have come full circle. Delivering The Star Ledger has broadened my horizons in the literal sense. My world had in fact shrunk that afternoon at age 13, when I took my first flight and my first flight lesson.

To help drive this point home, as to how each action we take today lends to our successes or failures tomorrow, let me tell you about my high school prom date. Edie was one of the more unique individuals attending Manasquan High School during my years there. I quickly noted something special about her. At the time of our senior prom, she had a boyfriend from another school. Because of those circumstances, I was certainly not looking short term when I asked her to be my date for that event. I was looking far into my future and recently that has paid off for me as well. On May 5th of this year Edie and I were married in Manahawkin, NJ; my high school sweetheart is now so much more and forever.

Now, as promised, the reward worth so much more than a paycheck. About a year ago I found myself at a wake for my friend’s grandmother. At this wake I was introduced to the parents of a 6 year old boy. I was expecting to meet these folks because I knew their son had been given a personal tour of Giant’s Stadium a couple of years prior, compliments of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We had some mutual friends in that football organization. As I spoke with the boy’s parents, I was less interested in the NY Giants and more interested in what their child had endured to warrant the attention of the foundation. The Father told me that his son Stephen had received a heart transplant in early 2001. As they were asking me about the NY Giants, I persisted with the questions about his son’s heart. Well, as it turned out, at about midnight in early 2001, my copilot and I flew to Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and retrieved Stephen’s heart. Confirming the details of the missionafter the wake made me very emotional. This was the closest I had ever been to realizing the fruits of my labor. About two weeks later, we all gathered at little Stephen’s house and enjoyed the Super Bowl together. Stephen told me after a couple hours, “Thank you for my heart.”

Now, in conclusion, I’m no different than anyone else in this room. The only privilege I had growing up was my parents blessing on the myriad of desires I came home with each week. They thankfully had the courage themselves to let me take things to their conclusion. Well, I’m still reaching. When I fly along at 41,000 feet and I gaze out into the stars at night, they just don’t seem so far away. Each and every one of those stars seems to be inviting me towards it. I know there is something behind each one and the more stars that I can look behind, the more confident I grow. Harness each and every day you live and before you know it, you’ll be leading life, not simply living it.

Thank you all very much for allowing me to share some of the things I have learned about life in my first 34 years.

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About The Author
William Stephenson is a self help guru and motivational speaker from New Jersey. You can find more information about him at http://www.AllYourPrints.com or visit http://lr25plt.sofsuccess.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=ARTICLE to learn how you can be more successful today!

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